Are you being bullied by your spouse? These are some of the common red flags
It is easy to say that you know when a person is being bullied, but it can be difficult to know. There are many ways to bully someone and sometimes the signs are misleading. You may be wondering if your partner or spouse is bullying you. Bullying can happen in any relationship and to people of all ages and all levels of ability.
First, let’s talk about the types of abuse and when it’s ok to expect a certain behavior from your partner or spouse. Cutting you off from friends and family: This is an immediate red flag. Not only can being a victim depress your self-esteem, it can also increase levels of stress, insomnia and high blood pressure. This is not all, it can also cause mental health problems including depression and anxeity among others.
Following are some situations which can help you to understand whether you are being bullied or not.
My spouse or partner always insults me in front of our friends under the guise of a joke.
My spouse or partner is jealous and hostile when I spend time with my other friends.
My spouse or partner controls our finances and I have to ask every time I need money for even for basic needs.
He or she criticizes the way I look or dress up most of the times.
He or she tries his/her best to set me up against my parents, friends and other family members.
He or she is very calm and supportive for family and friends, but he or she is manipulative and mean to me
If your answers were yes, then you may be the victim of bullying.
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Quiz: Are You Being Bullied?
These days, bullying in schools and even in cyberspace is a hot topic. However, adult bullying is more widespread than you might think. It takes place in the home, the community and the workplace. According to Beth Rosenthal’s book Bullying, a 2007 poll found that one-third of workers, or 54 million Americans, reported workplace bullying. Even when bullying is not physical, as in the case of domestic violence, it is usually verbal and psychological, leaving no physical scars, but nevertheless creating long-lasting effects such as stress, depression, shame and low self-esteem. Harmful health effects can include insomnia, high blood pressure and digestive problems. Take this quiz to determine if you—or someone you know—might be the victim of bullying:
1. My spouse repeatedly insults me in front of our friends and then tells me, laughing, that I’m too “thin-skinned.”
2. My partner is jealous and hostile when I spend time with my friends.
3. My spouse controls all our finances; I have to ask every time I need money for even our most basic expenses.
4. My significant other constantly denies what he said just days or even hours ago and then acts like I’m losing my mind.
5. My partner threatens to leave and implies he will harm himself (or me) if I don’t go along with what he wants.
6. My mother criticizes how I look and what I wear whenever I see her.
7. My sibling is always trying to stir up trouble by lying about me and setting me up against other family members.
8. My father is charming and kind when people from outside the family are around, but when alone with me he is manipulative and mean.
9. My neighbor shouts and makes threatening comments when I do the slightest thing that he deems wrong.
10. My co-worker finds ways to sabotage my position in the company including spreading nasty rumors about me.
11. My boss takes credit for my ideas and then threatens to demote or fire me.
12. My boss assigns tasks with impossible deadlines and berates me in front of my co-workers.
13. A woman on my volunteer committee puts down any ideas I put forth, cuts me off when I’m talking, and makes sarcastic remarks at my expense.
If you answered true to some of these statements, you may be the victim of a bully. Please don’t hesitate to contact me if you would like support in dealing with this issue.
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