Have you ever felt like you’re not good enough, even when everyone around you believes in you? That irritating voice in your head whispering, “You’re going to fail” or “You do not deserve this”? Well, that is self-doubt.
What are self-doubts?
Self-doubt, also sometimes known as self-handicapping, is the feeling of uncertainty over one’s ability.
If you experience self-doubts, you are not alone. Everyone experiences self-doubt to some extent. Self-doubt isn’t always life-altering—it can be subtle and show up in everyday moments. Simple thoughts like, “Did I order the wrong thing?” or “Did I remember to lock the door?” are small but common examples.
In a study by Braslow and colleagues (2012), it was established that merely asking people to reflect on their strengths can actually make them doubt those very things, given that they cannot come up with enough examples.
Self-doubt is often correlated with several factors such as low self-esteem, anxiety, negative past experiences, and more. A major contributor to self-doubt, especially in today’s digital world, is social media. One common influence of social media that many of its users face is low self-esteem, which is often caused by comparing themselves to the curated pictures on social media. Research has shown self-esteem to be correlated with self-doubt. Therefore, feelings of self-doubt can also give rise to low self-esteem (Herman et al., 2002).
What causes self-doubt?
Past experiences: Negative experiences, such as rejections or failure, can affect us deeply, often causing feelings of self-doubt. When faced with repeated setbacks, individuals may begin to question their worth, feeling as though they are not good enough. Therefore, when we experience new challenges, our past experience can resurface, triggering thoughts like “I have failed before, so I will probably fail again.” As such, the disappointments faced in the past can often prevent us from taking new risks, reinforcing the cycle of self-doubt.
Peer comparison: In the age of social media, it is extremely easy to compare ourselves with the curated posts of social influencers or our peers. Seeing peers live what appears to be a perfect life can make us question ours. The constant comparison can make us feel as though everyone is ahead of us. Peer comparison can give rise to thoughts like “Am I doing enough?” or “Why aren’t I as successful as them?”
Internal critic: While we all have an inner voice, for some this voice is overly critical. Instead of voicing encouragement, it tends to focus on one’s weaknesses. Negative thoughts can often dominate one’s inner voice, making it difficult to be confident in themselves. This can feed into your self-doubt by making you question your own decisions and worth. The more you listen to your internal critic, the more it reinforces your self-doubt.
Insecure attachment: Insecure attachment is often formed in childhood due to inconsistent emotional support or care and can deeply impact how we view ourselves. It can cause feelings of inadequacy to rise. For example, experiencing emotional neglect can make individuals feel unsure about their worth or their ability to form healthy relationships. This insecurity can affect other areas of life as well, leading to self-doubt.
Perfectionism: The pursuit of flawless performance can instead hinder progress, as it creates a mindset where mistakes are feared. Perfectionism creates a need for constant validation and fear of anything that falls short of perfection. Therefore, when errors are made, they may feel like they are not worth it and fear that they will never be able to meet their own expectations.
Common Signs of Self-Doubt
- Difficulty accepting compliments → Individuals engaging in self-doubt often feel as if they lack worth; therefore, they will struggle to accept praise and feel uncomfortable when others acknowledge their abilities and accomplishments.
- Imposter syndrome → Individuals engaging in self-doubt will find it difficult to not feel like a fraud or not good enough, even when they’ve achieved success.
- Emotional dependence → Individuals with self-doubts may heavily depend on others for emotional support and constantly need reassurance to feel secure.
- Avoiding new challenges → Individuals with self-doubts assume that they will fail to live up to their expectations; therefore, they hesitate to begin new opportunities.
- Constant second-guessing decisions → Individuals with self-doubts may frequently question the choices and decisions they have made because they do not believe in their abilities.
Ways to overcome self-doubt:
Overcoming self-doubt is a journey, as it requires time and patience. However, with the right strategies, it’s possible to build confidence and trust in your abilities.
- Find internal validation → When you acknowledge your own achievements and strengths without relying on external confirmation, it creates a concrete foundation of self-confidence, making you less susceptible to negative thoughts and outside opinions.
- Positive self-talk → Self-doubt arises when we use negative self-talk. Therefore, using positive self-talk instead can help reframe negative thoughts and replace self-doubt with self-assurance.
- Use positive language → Using encouraging and optimistic language can help tackle self-doubts. The optimistic language helps you focus on your progress rather than the fear of failure. By choosing to speak to yourself with kind and positive word can
- Therapy → Therapy can be an effective solution to overcome self-doubt. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can be extremely helpful to tackle self-doubt, as it is a type of therapy that helps to change negative thought patterns to improve how they feel and behave.
- Practice Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC) → Mindful self-compassion can act as a protector against self-doubt. MSC requires individuals to be aware of their feelings and respond to those feelings with warmth and care instead of negative self-judgment. Practicing MSC can help us be kind to ourselves, build resilience, and aid in emotional growth.
A Hopeful Perspective on Self-Doubt
To end in a hopeful note — self-doubt, although challenging and difficult, isn’t always a negative thing. A study by Woodman and colleagues (2010) found that a small amount of self-doubt actually helped participants improve performance in a competitive setting. Therefore, in small doses, self-doubt can instead help us succeed. However, it is important to draw a distinction between a healthy and an unhealthy amount of self-doubt. While a moderate amount of self-doubt can benefit us, when it becomes chronic, harsh, or paralyzing, it starts doing more harm than good. As such, if you believe your self-doubt is hindering you instead of helping, please don’t hesitate to reach out. We are here to help.
Need Support?
Take the first step today—schedule a 15-minute free consultation and start your journey toward balance and well-being.
📞 Contact Scarborough Psychology Clinic Call us at (416) 438-3800 to book your appointment. Healing begins here.
Further Readings
- Braslow, M. D., Guerrettaz, J., Arkin, R. M., & Oleson, K. C. (2012). Self-Doubt. Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 6(6), 470–482. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1751-9004.2012.00441.x
- Center for Mindful Self-Compassion. (n.d.). Self-compassion research. https://centerformsc.org/pages/self-compassion-research
- Davis, T., PhD. (2023, December 13). What is self-doubt, and what can we do to get rid of it? Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/click-here-for-happiness/202205/how-to-overcome-self-doubt
- GoodTherapy LLC. (2019, September 23). Comprehensive Guide to Therapy for Self-Doubt, Therapist for Self-Doubt: Everything You… https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/self-doubt
- Hermann, A. D., Leonardelli, G. J., & Arkin, R. M. (2002). Self-Doubt and Self-Esteem: A Threat from Within. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 28(3), 395–408. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167202286010
- Saxena, S. (2022, May 3). Self-doubt: What it is, signs & how to overcome it. Choosing Therapy.
- Self-Doubt: Definition, Causes & How to Overcome It. (n.d.). The Berkeley Well-Being Institute. https://www.berkeleywellbeing.com/self-doubt.html
- Woodman, T., Akehurst, S., Hardy, L., & Beattie, S. (2010). Self-confidence and performance: A little self-doubt helps. Psychology of Sport and Exercise, 11(6), 467–470. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psychsport.2010.05.009